Wednesday, December 14, 2005
So I ran a red light...
To add to your list of things NOT to do in this fucked up state of California: running a red light.
As a general rule of thumb, running a red light is not something anyone should strive to do. It is illegal, dangerous, stupid, and irresponsible. And to top off this list of maladies in any state that you do happen to run a red light, and also happen to get caught, you will be assessed a for a fine. Generally this fine falls into the category of "crappy but vaguely reasonable considering all the others traffic violantions I commit on any given outing and dont get caught for" and so one should be inclined to pay it with minimal grumbling, unless of course one if a chronic get-caught-for-egregious-traffic-violations type of person in which case this may result in a loss of license. Well sir or ma'am, to you I say, the roads are a better place without you since there is a very good chance you think youre a good driver who actually should have never been given a license and who will probably drive regardless of your suspended license because you have a sense of entitlement that allows you to think that turn signals are optional, lane markers are mereley suggestions, insurance is for worriers, and that everyone else should give you the right of way because you drive an SUV.
But I digress.
So its possible that despite my vastly superior driving capabilties, that I faltered and happened to run a red light. It is a fact that at this light I possibly ran the light at, the state of California had installed those photo devices that snap your smiling face as you hang a wide left through the red turn signal. It is also a fact that doing so results in a photo of you running the light being mailed to your home and forcing you to rethink the angle at which you thought you looked cool pimping your seat. So I happened to get one of these "You asshole you ran the light" photos mailed to my home, with a cheery little note that the fine amount would be forthcoming. Unlike human police, photo police arent responsive to big smiles, short skirts, or crying that your father will never talk to you again if you get a ticket. So I waited, in suspense, for the fine that I assumed would be hefty but not unreasonable considering my so called obvious guilt in the offence.
Upon receiving the fine a slew of profanities slipped out of my mouth. $351. $351 + 29.99 for traffic school for a grand total of $380 if I wish for the offense to not be reported to my insurance. Now I appreciate this offer, but WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! $351 is exhorbant. As far as I am concerned the light was yellow and i'm expected to pay half my rent because some bad photography says otherwise? Oh wait....that's right. The state of California is BROKE. Why you ask? Well, circa 1978 some genius who later also got to fuck the economy on a national level as president, enacted a law freezing property taxes. So a lot of really rich people who should be paying obscene amounts of property tax on their zillion dollar homes, are paying whatever they were nearly 30 years ago. Apparently none of these people care that as a result the state has no money to pay for education, health care, social programs, and government resources. To make up for this loss of massive amounts of revenue the state has had to find creative ways to bilk money out of its citizens. I guess inflating traffic citations make the list of approved methods.
The notice offers me the chance to go to court to plead my case. Guilty or not I dont think I should have to support people that dont want to pay their property taxes so I figure pleading my case could result in a reduced fine, especially considering I havent gotten a ticket since i was 17 hauling ass through Swarthmore, PA. All I have to do is be one of the first 65 lucky traffic offenders to show up at the oakland courthouse on any given weekday at 8am. Ok, I tell myself. You've been to court and gotten out of situations before, and your trusty traffic violating pal L. has gotten ticket fines reduced in 3 separate states, how hard could it possible be?
As a general rule of thumb, running a red light is not something anyone should strive to do. It is illegal, dangerous, stupid, and irresponsible. And to top off this list of maladies in any state that you do happen to run a red light, and also happen to get caught, you will be assessed a for a fine. Generally this fine falls into the category of "crappy but vaguely reasonable considering all the others traffic violantions I commit on any given outing and dont get caught for" and so one should be inclined to pay it with minimal grumbling, unless of course one if a chronic get-caught-for-egregious-traffic-violations type of person in which case this may result in a loss of license. Well sir or ma'am, to you I say, the roads are a better place without you since there is a very good chance you think youre a good driver who actually should have never been given a license and who will probably drive regardless of your suspended license because you have a sense of entitlement that allows you to think that turn signals are optional, lane markers are mereley suggestions, insurance is for worriers, and that everyone else should give you the right of way because you drive an SUV.
But I digress.
So its possible that despite my vastly superior driving capabilties, that I faltered and happened to run a red light. It is a fact that at this light I possibly ran the light at, the state of California had installed those photo devices that snap your smiling face as you hang a wide left through the red turn signal. It is also a fact that doing so results in a photo of you running the light being mailed to your home and forcing you to rethink the angle at which you thought you looked cool pimping your seat. So I happened to get one of these "You asshole you ran the light" photos mailed to my home, with a cheery little note that the fine amount would be forthcoming. Unlike human police, photo police arent responsive to big smiles, short skirts, or crying that your father will never talk to you again if you get a ticket. So I waited, in suspense, for the fine that I assumed would be hefty but not unreasonable considering my so called obvious guilt in the offence.
Upon receiving the fine a slew of profanities slipped out of my mouth. $351. $351 + 29.99 for traffic school for a grand total of $380 if I wish for the offense to not be reported to my insurance. Now I appreciate this offer, but WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! $351 is exhorbant. As far as I am concerned the light was yellow and i'm expected to pay half my rent because some bad photography says otherwise? Oh wait....that's right. The state of California is BROKE. Why you ask? Well, circa 1978 some genius who later also got to fuck the economy on a national level as president, enacted a law freezing property taxes. So a lot of really rich people who should be paying obscene amounts of property tax on their zillion dollar homes, are paying whatever they were nearly 30 years ago. Apparently none of these people care that as a result the state has no money to pay for education, health care, social programs, and government resources. To make up for this loss of massive amounts of revenue the state has had to find creative ways to bilk money out of its citizens. I guess inflating traffic citations make the list of approved methods.
The notice offers me the chance to go to court to plead my case. Guilty or not I dont think I should have to support people that dont want to pay their property taxes so I figure pleading my case could result in a reduced fine, especially considering I havent gotten a ticket since i was 17 hauling ass through Swarthmore, PA. All I have to do is be one of the first 65 lucky traffic offenders to show up at the oakland courthouse on any given weekday at 8am. Ok, I tell myself. You've been to court and gotten out of situations before, and your trusty traffic violating pal L. has gotten ticket fines reduced in 3 separate states, how hard could it possible be?
# posted by -cn : 12:36 PM
